The Answer That Could Never Be Found
by RedWheeler
Summary: Hilary notices when something happens to one of her boys. Oneshot. HilaryxMaxxMariam. Smidge of KaixHilary toward the end.


**Note**: I'm not even too sure what I should say about this one. It's probably the most graphic thing I've written to this point – that being said, it's just a little more descriptive than what I usually write. No need to run away, look at the rating. XD Anyway, the title came from "Let Love In" by the Goo Goo Dolls; it kind of reminded me of the plot line when the song came up when I was editing.

No beta this time around, I'm relying on my own skills. As always, feedback would be awesome.

**Summary**: Hilary notices when something happens to one of her boys.

**Pairing**: HilaryxMaxxMariam. For something different, you know? It kind of ended up being something I hadn't planned on; so I'm not sure if it is really in the true spirit of a love triangle. They have spirit, you know. Smidge of KaixHilary as well toward the end.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Beyblade.

The Answer That Could Never Be Found

Hilary couldn't place when it exactly started. Just that it did and it was done now. Well, not done in the sense that it was over, but that the ordeal that blindsided her had passed. If that made any sense.

Hilary was certain it did not.

Then again, what had happened on various occasions also made her stop and think. Sit back and contemplate for hours in a dark room with no sound except for the passing of cars outside the window. Hilary would know that, it was her wrapping her brain around ideas and grasping for straws that were slipping through her fingers in the middle of the night.

Out of all her boys, she used to say Ray and Max were the only ones that didn't need further grooming. After having known them for a few months she had devised a plan to morph some of the Bladebreakers' less desirable traits.

Kai's social skills were slowly progressing around the same time, or so Hilary liked to think. She planned on leaving Tyson for the very end, figuring he had too many issues to straighten out. It was her own little side project anyway, none of them knew about it; she just liked to take pride in the fact they were going to be perfect gentleman under her care.

That whole ruse fell apart shortly after the rock was stolen in New York from Judy's laboratory. Targeting Max, soon after, one morning when he was out with Kenny, he had gotten seriously injured after a building collapsed. And with it, he seemed more solemn.

She remembered when they found him, standing blankly around the gathered remains of the building; his eyes dark as they stared into the distance. She can recall finding him subdued, or visibly troubled, as he grasped his arm; a bandage was wrapped neatly, soaking up the blood that had not found a way to escape the folds and roll down his pale skin. She still doesn't know what happened down there; Max doesn't like to talk about it.

Instead he would change the subject, deciding that the incident wasn't worth speaking of. She can partly understand that, it must've been a horrible experience; yet she can't just drop the subject as if it's nothing. There's something in his eyes that says it is something.

"If I could, I would've made sure you never went through that," Hilary had told him one day when it had been just the two of them. For some reason, Max was the only one that opted to sit with her during practice; not that she could understand why.

He stared at her, his gaze not sharing the light she had imagined it would. "Really?" he asked innocently enough, although sombre at the thought. "If I could change what happened, I don't think I would."

Hilary wasn't sure how he could say that with such confidence; she felt pained for him, how reflective he seemed since the accident. He would walk by himself, shaking off his charisma that he used to exuberate. The charming boy she knew left behind this softened caricature with similar likeness.

It wasn't until they visited the chorale that Hilary became suspicious. Draciel just seemed to have exploded in his battle against Mariam, brandishing power the brunette had never seen Max wield. Kenny had called him ruthless; this raw energy that coursed through his veins, it pushed him to his limits.

Hilary wasn't stupid; she knew how bit beasts worked, unlike Mariam who was just learning vicariously through Max. They thrived on emotions, and right now, he was practically a fountain of them.

It was just hard to tell from where she was as opposed to them at the time; the match was dying down and they were speaking at normal tones. All Hilary knew was she had never seen Max look so happy as he exited the saloon, delaying his exit for a moment to hold the door open. She watched as he hesitated for a second, his eyes shifting to the ground as the older, blue haired girl walked pass him.

In that defining moment, Hilary swore a dusty breeze blew past, spraying Max in the face.

The brunette noted a few days later Max was back to his silent roaming at odd times, the excitement from his previous match had died down quite a bit. He would lean back in the grass sometimes and just stare upward, watching nothing but blue sky.

"It's quiet without the Saint Shields checking up on us," Ray had said thoughtfully one day, his hands folded underneath his chin. Quieter is what Hilary would've said, now with their problems regarding Zeo, King and Queen.

"You say that as if it's a bad thing," Tyson rolled his eyes.

"They weren't bad people," Max opted to defend them, his voice heightening in the process. "They were trying to do something good that we were able to do all along."

"I just don't get why they didn't back off sooner."

"I respect their decisions, Tyson. And so should you."

Hilary had smiled at the blond's words, she can remember that clearly. Finding his chivalry endearing, she assumed that maybe she was imagining this whole different side to Max; maybe it just meant she was getting to know him better.

That was, until things got even stranger.

The world championship press conference had been a disaster, King and Queen egging on Dunga was enough to get the media in an uproar. Flashes were going off everywhere and parts of the setup had been ruined in the process of the illegal beybattle. Mr. Dickenson was busy escorting his lead team inside when she realized Max was dawdling.

She had turned around to face him just in time to see him trip over the red carpet rather clumsily; and he would've fallen too if someone hadn't reached out for him. Mariam had seized his arm just above his elbow, pulling him back gently; and the brunette couldn't help but notice her hand linger on his arm.

"Thanks," he said brightly, his blue eyes shined as he faced her.

"Don't even mention it; I still owe you so much."

"I… don't want to keep score. It's not a matter of who did what; it's a matter of why we do things."

"You used to be a boy scout, didn't you?" Mariam had lifted her hand off of him, slapping him playfully on the cheek twice as she continued on the red carpet. "Better watch yourself Max, your speeches are starting to grow on me."

"I wouldn't consider that a bad thing," he called after her, Hilary watched as he swung himself around to follow her movements. He stood hopefully with big, round eyes for her to turn around, and Hilary saw relief on his face when she finally did.

"We're different people. The fact that what used to sound annoying to me is starting to sound… _sweet_, well, I'm sure you can imagine my concern." Hilary had never seen Mariam's eyes look so fierce, the emerald penetrated through Max for a few more seconds before she stalked away.

Once again she left Max staring.

"You two are completely different," Hilary agreed, walking up beside him. The brunette glanced at him curiously to see if he was listening; he let out a loud sigh, appearing disheartened.

"That might be true, but what's there to be afraid of?"

It had taken a while to understand what that meant, and even when her suspicions were confirmed, Hilary still took the time to second guess herself. It wasn't like Max had been disappearing at random times to meet Mariam without telling the team, he was too polite for that. No, he excused himself like the proper gentleman he was.

While the team was griping about that day's match, Max had quietly told his friends he was going out for a second. They didn't bat an eye at the thought; too busy slamming their fists into their hands as they glowered about King and Queen obliterating two of the Saint Shields' beyblades. That was why, after a few minutes, Hilary excused herself as well; although she told herself it was because she was worried about Max, not the possibility that he was with Mariam.

Fortunately she found Max about the same time he caught up to the blue haired girl, but a part of her felt a little bad as she hid behind the corner. Not that she was spying or anything.

"Are… are you okay?" Max had sounded so soft, approaching her from behind. He didn't dare go further in her direction, taking his steps lightly with caution. Hilary could tell by his posture that he was fighting with himself, trying to decide whether or not he should reach out for her. Hilary had a feeling he wanted to, his fists would clench and unclench as he fidgeted in the hallway waiting for her reaction.

Mariam faced him, venom clearly in her gaze as she stared back. "How do you think I am?" she bit back, snapping as if he did something to cause her pain. The blond hadn't even flinched, merely lowering his eyes to the floor with understanding. Hilary saw something flicker in her gaze then, the blue haired girl hushing her voice notably, "Just when he was starting to open up…."

"Mariam," Max said gently, forgetting his self-consciousness to step forward. "I… I know how that must feel."

"How would you know?" she sneered, "This is all I have left of Sharkrash." The bit chip was in the center of her palm, so open and unprotected without its shield to protect it.

Amazingly, Max hadn't lost his patience through Mariam's stubbornness. "That's the most important part," he reached out and put his hand underneath of hers, slowly making her fingers close in around the shark. "That's his heart; the one part you'll never be able to replace. We can rebuild your beyblade, Mariam. I bet my Mom will-."

"No," she cut him off, though not harshly as it could've been. "I mean, I appreciate the thought… but I think I wanna rebuild Sharkrash as my tribe does."

He nodded in silent agreement, removing his hand from hers out of safety. "I'm facing Queen in the next match," he stated solidly, confusing Hilary. The Bladebreakers hadn't decided who was facing who in the next match yet, but it didn't sound like Max cared much. "I won't let her get away with this."

"It's not your problem, Max."

"Of course it is!" he shouted suddenly, slamming his fist against the wall. "You're _my_ friend, Mariam. You have been for a while, no matter what you say, I consider you a friend. And I'm going to do what I have to to make this right."

She paused for a moment, watching him trying to subtly wave the pain off of his knuckles. "You're an idiot," she said finally, rolling her eyes upward before meeting him with fondness.

"What?" he stammered, nursing his knuckles against his mouth in embarrassment.

"How are you supposed to avenge me if you injure your hand?" Mariam smirked, now taking hold of his arm to inspect his reddened knuckles. "Hitting concrete walls has got to be one of the stupidest things you've ever done."

"Sorry," he mumbled his apology, though it didn't look like he meant it. Max seemed rather content with her fingers gliding over his hand lightly, grazing his skin with care and attention. "I guess I got carried away."

"Hmm."

"I will make Queen pay."

"Max…," she said slowly, pausing to find the words to say. "Thank you."

To Hilary, it was no surprise the next day that Queen's 'blade was nothing but scrap metal.

The brunette had been amazed that nobody else seemed to notice the change in Max. She figured that maybe it was because the tournament had just finished and her other boys were busy giving interviews. Well, par from Kai, who would only give the media no more than five word answers. Hilary, on the other hand, had taken special interest in Max and Mariam's friendship.

The blond never really talked about it, but they would meet up at times to talk. She only knew this because she sometimes saw him on the way to Tyson's early in the morning, waiting around like a hopeful puppy searching for a home. For the life of her she couldn't figure that out, Max already had a home.

One night, while carrying groceries back to her house like her Mom had asked her to, she overheard their voices as she crossed the bridge. Curious, Hilary delayed her journey to lean against the metal railing.

"Max," Mariam had said, adding an extra syllable to his name. Hilary noticed she liked to do that, extend his name out slowly and sweetly to catch his attention. And once again, it worked because he watched her with further interest. Reluctantly, she began to speak, "We're… friends now, right?"

The blond didn't say anything right away, staring back with a softened expression he let out a sigh. "Mariam, I'm…," Max became sheepish, looking to his shoes, "I'm not sure I want to be friends anymore."

"Oh," the blue haired girl replied passively, her expression void of emotions. Her voice sounded raw from where Hilary was standing. "I…," Mariam's thoughts had been interrupted as Max suddenly wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, "Don't understand."

Placing his chin on the crook of her neck, he brought her closer to him. "You're leaving soon…," he murmured, his arms around her waist refusing to let go at the truth. "Aren't you…?"

Mariam hadn't answered, not returning the embrace. She seemed to be thinking about something, her eyebrows creased at the situation. It was almost like she couldn't decide what she should be doing; whether or not this was acceptable behaviour.

"I can't think of another reason you'd ask me that…. It's the only time you ever wanted to make sure," Max rambled, realizing she must be uncomfortable with their sudden proximity.

Again she didn't say anything, raising her arms up to place her hands on his shoulders. She gripped the front of his shirt, turning her face so that it was against his ear.

"I'll be your friend if you want me to," Max stated. "Without a doubt, I will be. I just don't know if that's what I want anymore…."

"I don't think… I don't know either," she revealed with an edge to her voice. It was clear she was frustrated; creasing his shirt further with her iron grip. Yet Max looked unfazed, tilting his head so he could rest their foreheads together. For a moment, Hilary thought she was going to smack him, but the blond just smiled softly, rocking her slightly in his grasp as if it would calm her down. "We're not even supposed to be friends."

"But we are," he noted with amusement, glancing down as one of her hands reluctantly smoothed out the bunched up fabric of his shirt. "I've never… been this close to someone else."

Mariam raised an eyebrow, watching him shy away somewhat at the detail. "Physically or emotionally?"

"Emotionally," he answered before hesitating, "Well, both actually. I… I probably creeped you out, right…? One minute you ask me about being friends and… and the next, I'm uh…."

"Holding me?" she substituted with a smirk.

Turning an interesting shade of red, he bowed his head slightly. "Right. Sorry…," he went to move away from her, loosening his arms from around her waist sheepishly. Mariam rolled her eyes, pulling him closer by the front of his shirt; though he didn't touch her back, her other hand grazed his arm gently.

"One of these days I'm going to be gone."

One of these days came quicker than Hilary would've thought. Without a single goodbye, the Saint Shields just seemed to have ceased to exist within their town. Livid at the fact Mariam did that to Max; the brunette did her best to keep an eye on him for as long as she could. Thankfully, he did not seem too bothered by their sudden departure; the sensitive boy took it in strives.

Months flew past quickly for Hilary; the days where they were still the Bladebreakers were a blur. The next thing she knew every one of them was split up with little contact toward each other. In the game her boys played, no one was allowed to fraternize with the enemy, which is what they had all become.

She trusted that they all would be fine. Tyson and Kenny were still under her nurturing care, after all; and Kai was used to being on his own. She had a feeling he would rather it as well, her consistent picking at his world had earned her a few looks. And Ray, well; he had always been the most mature, looking out for the others in his calm reserve.

Max was who made her brain spin, throughout the world championship her heart ached at the sight of him. His hardships with the PPB All Starz were clearly evident, his features would tame with this necessary bold maturity when faced by them. He would stand taller, pulling his shoulders back and having fists in the ready; and he would speak solidly, turning his statements into commands, desiring to be heard instead of pushed away.

That was why when the team slowly reformed to face on BEGA, Hilary felt an extra dose of relief. There the blond was, although still sharp from his experiences, he was still Max. A boy she knew that when she looked at him, she realized he deserved more.

He deserved utmost happiness and she could only wish she would be able to give it to him.

But reality never worked that way, and life had a funny way of showing Hilary that. Happiness for one person is not always shared with another in the exact same way; the same experience can have two different perspectives and they're not always seen with the same light.

So when Kai won his match against Brooklyn, Hilary's brain didn't even process what she was about to do before it even happened. Her arms had just found their way around Max's neck in a tight embrace by themselves, making the blond stumble back slightly. He laughed, wrapping his own arms around her as he screamed to his victorious team mate. Noticing what she had been doing, she blushed furiously at their closeness.

"I knew he'd do it," the blond smiled, turning to her with his bright disposition. His blue eyes shined with pure joy and excitement as he stared back at her, but she knew she had seen them brighter before.

Hilary titled her head to the side, examining his gaze with grace. "What do you think about this?"

Max's expression crumbled, becoming perplexed by the question. He stalled for a moment, his attention venturing elsewhere before clearing to amusement again. Ending the hug, he faced her toward the approaching winner before grinning goofily. "I think you're hugging the wrong guy."

He never told her she wasn't Mariam, that had become evident enough in that single moment. Whereas her embrace had been brief and completely misunderstood; Mariam's had been emotional and complex. His entire focus had been on Mariam that day; the way his eyes traced her every angle didn't even compare to how he looked at Hilary. And it bothered her how much she knew Mariam didn't deserve someone like Max, but what bothered her even more was what else she knew.

Max deserved someone like Mariam.

Hilary remembered when all of this dawned on her, it had been yesterday, a few weeks after BEGA agreed to disband. Her boys had all been training together; even their newest member Daichi who needed more grooming than Tyson, if that was possible. Draciel had been fending off an attack from Dranzer when it suddenly spun out of control, nearly swiping Daichi's head in the process before colliding with a tree.

"Watch it, Max," the small red headed boy complained, pumping his fist with excited anger. "I don't want to be the first headless beyblader!"

Max didn't respond, dropping his launcher to the dusty ground as he gawked speechlessly into the distance. Confusing everyone, the former Bladebreakers spun around to see what left such a number on the blond. Hilary felt her heart drop as Tyson gasped with acknowledgment.

"Ozuma!"

As if nothing changed in the past two and a half years, the four Saint Shields leapt off the surrounding structure. Every one of them, decked out in their traditional garments, landed flawlessly, staring down their former competition with the same fierce attitude.

"Nice number on the tree," Joseph cackled, taking note to the upside down green 'blade. "I'm sure it was really asking for it."

"What are you guys doing here?" Tyson asked, being the first to venture toward them. He clasped Ozuma's hand briefly in welcome, grinning as he led them to his dojo. "Come on inside, I can't wait to tell you how I won the world championship _this_ time."

"You couldn't have done it without my help, Tyson!"

"Shut-up, Daichi. I'm trying to tell a story. Don't worry guys; he's just a new member of the team. He really looks up to me…."

Hilary rolled her eyes, following the boys up onto the veranda. She cast a glance back, realizing Max had stopped Mariam gently from tagging along. The brunette hung back by the door, watching them with reborn curiosity; and the blond was still gawking at her as if she was a ghost.

He had placed his hands loosely on her wrists, examining her face at a careful distance almost with disbelief. Max's expression then broke out with a smile, his blue eyes focused with such elation directed solely at her. Grazing her skin softly with his fingertips, he ran his hands down the length of her arms before enveloping her with a crushing hug.

Cursing lowly, Mariam laughed at his sudden surge of emotions. "Very subtle," she told him sarcastically, reaching out to touch his face as she returned the embrace. Her fingers brushed away his blond hair, tucking it freely behind his ears as they caressed his skin. Much to Hilary's dismay, the poor boy looked like he was about to melt.

"I can't believe you're here…," he breathed, finally letting the words that were sitting in his throat to be choked out. Becoming somewhat grave, Max took in the fact she was in his arms again as a surprising blow. "What… what are you doing here?"

"Like why are the Saint Shields here?"

"No. Just you…."

"I needed to tell you something, but I'm not sure how you're going to take it," the blue haired girl explained solemnly, making Hilary's fists clench out of respect for Max. The boy just nodded with understanding, preparing himself for the worst. "I've been thinking about this friendship thing and… and it might be too complicated."

"I see," Max said, completely lying.

"No, you don't. Every time we try to be friends we're really… something else entirely. I can't handle that, Max. I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about," he murmured softly, ducking his head down in reproach. "I can't change how you feel about me, no matter how hard I try."

"We're never going to be friends, Max."

He reluctantly agreed. "Yeah. I guess so…."

Mariam then let out a loud sigh of relief, puzzling the lurking brunette quite a bit. "I'm glad that's settled," she decided, pushing back part of his bangs as she leaned into the hug. Max's begotten face twisted into incredulity over what just happened between them.

"Wait… what?"

She smirked, tracing a finger down his jaw line slowly. "I don't think being friends is going to ever work for us, do you?"

Max pressed his forehead against hers, not even bothering to hide the grin he adorned in his world's reality. "I'd be lying if I said I even wanted to find out…."

"Good to know, 'cause there's another reason why I'm here…."

The blond groaned. "You're not going to try and take Draciel again, are you?"

"Already doubting our relationship? Honestly Max," Mariam retorted sarcastically, wrapping her arms snugly around his neck. "I was a little afraid I had some competition."

"But… I'm a beyblader."

"I meant girls. Idiot."

"Girls?" Max repeated, the word sounding foreign the way it came out of his mouth. It was almost like he couldn't fathom what she was trying to convey and it was starting to make his brain swim in its own panicked confusion. "You mean… like Hilary?"

The brunette leaned forward with apprehension, awaiting what Mariam had to say about her. "You're right, she is a girl. Congratulations, you know how to identify people by their sexes. I was thinking more along the lines of that girl on the PPB All Starz."

To her personal astonishment, Hilary let out a disappointed sigh. There she was, one of the consistent females in the blond's life and she didn't even register as a threat to the other woman who was vying for his attention. They weren't even being serious about the discussion; too busy eyeing each other in a sickly, almost intoxicated, fashion.

"Don't even think about stuff like that," Max whispered, nuzzling his nose against hers as he breathed in her scent. She had hummed in acknowledgment, skimming the back of his neck with her fingertips playfully. "No one can even compare to you."

That was the truth, as awful as it was. And even though she knew about it all along it still managed to catch her off guard and hurtle her toward the ground. Mariam had pulled him into a kiss, covering his mouth fiercely, but sweetly, with her own lips. He responded tenderly, lulling her into slow, but brief, kisses that allowed them to catch their breaths easier.

Hilary stepped back at the sight, smacking her head against someone that had apparently been watching too. She glanced over to see Kai, standing passively as he observed the scene. "You didn't see that coming, did you?" the brunette questioned, avoiding the sight herself.

"I'm about as surprised as you are."

She gave him a funny look; Kai didn't seem too shocked at the outcome. He actually appeared, on the other hand, as if he expected it to happen. His gaze then shifted onto her, crossing his arms as he examined her.

"I watch people sometimes," he explained.

Hilary nodded.

His usually harsh glower relented somewhat, facing back toward the former Bladebreakers and Saint Shields. He nodded his head once as well, bringing his thoughts to a clear. "Do you think you'll be alright?"

She wasn't too sure; currently the world had felt like it was pressing against her brain with hot frustration. Hilary started to wonder if maybe she underestimated her friends, that they too weren't as oblivious as they seemed, seeing Max for what was really going on in his life. They just knew their place as opposed to her, understanding their interference would complicate the turmoil further.

"What are you guys doing ov-?" Tyson had approached her and Kai, his jaw slacking as he saw Max with his arms still linked around Mariam. The capped boy pointed at the scene with surprise, "When the heck did that happen?"

Hilary rolled her eyes; maybe she had been right all along. She succeeded in not wincing at the boy's happiness, glancing to Kai who was watching her passively. A smile traced across her lips, making the stoic boy bob his head in silent agreement.

"Mariam's a lucky girl."


End file.
